So, you and your partner have decided to introduce sex toys as part of your love life. Perhaps you have not discussed it with your partner at all. Maybe it is a secret or at least, and unspoken desire of yours, and you are trying to figure out how to persuade your partner to make sex toys some part of your intimacy. I am a proponent of open and honest conversation between sexual partners. Sexual intimacy is the ultimate nakedness, yet even amongst old married couples or long-time partners, there can be great reluctance to lay it all on the table. Accordingly, we need to set some ground rules here that will make this all so much easier. They are as follows:
• No Surprises – Before buying anything, have a number of discussions with your partner. This is critical to enjoying the process. As you will see later, this requires many decisions to be made together. Moreover, you need to know your partner’s boundaries and this will be the only way to find out.
• Be open minded and Supportive – You do not agree on the same foods to eat all the time, so do not expect to agree on the same Adult Toy. Neither partner can dictate what will and will not be used, this is a mutual discussion.
• Make your partner’s pleasure your priority – The approach with sex toys is the same as the approach to intimacy. Pleasing your partner has to be the first motivation.
Defining Sex Toys
Adult Toys is a catchall phrase, like the word “Sports.” Football and basketball are sports, in the broadest sense of the word, after that, they are very distinct one from another. To mention a few of the different types of Adult Toys, they are as follows. There are vibrators, dildos, penile toys, glass toys, nipple toys, anal toys, penetrative toys, accoutrements of bondage, and erotic furniture to name a few. So your discussions have to be specific as well as exploitative.
Destroy the Myths
There are several myths regarding sex toys that honestly, are based upon human insecurities and absolutely no scientific basis. Let us get them out of the way right now.
• Sex toys are not for desperate people
• They are not addictive
• They will not you less desirous of your partner
• They do not make it harder to have “Normal” sex
• They do not cause damage to, or change the size of genitals
• They are not used by men because they cannot please a woman
Surveys show that the number one objection over sex toys for women is that it makes them feel “dirty”. The number one objection for men is that their woman will not desire them anymore. Both of these misconceptions are based on societal fears, deep seated within a lot of us.
The main point behind this article is that the first step to introducing anything new into your intimacy is to communicate. There are so many choices and so much to be enjoyed, and trust me, there is something for everyone. There are sex toys for men as well as women. Just a heads up for the guys, intimate toys are not equivalent to tools. They are an enhancement, and should be used with the same sensitivity as your approach to other forms of intimacy. Think about it; in most forms of sexual contact, a woman desires some sort of passionate investment. Both partners need to share their honest feelings and like everything else, let your chemistry be your guide.